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the
superbowl
survivor's guide |
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houston,
we have a problem.
you’ve been invited to yet another super bowl party. not to be left out,
you accepted the invitation. but as always, you’re not quite sure what
all the fuss is about. grab a bud and some chips and RELAX - our superbowl
survivor's guide will tell you everything you need to know to make the most
of this beer-swilling sunday.
the basics:
what: superbowl xxxviii (that’s
38 for the roman-numerically challenged)
who: new england patriots, "the pats" (blue)
vs. carolina panthers (white)
where: houston, texas
when: sunday, february 1st, 2004. kick-off is at
6:25pm, on cbs.
commercial scoop:
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anheuser-busch has
the most ads, with eight 30-second spots, and one 60-second ad.
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| • |
h & r
block returns with more willie nelson spots; an ibm ad
features mohammed ali. |
| • |
procter & gamble,
the world’s largest advertiser, makes its superbowl debut with
a charmin ad ("the softest and strongest for your
end-zone").
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| • |
pizza
hut launches a campaign for its new 4forall pie with a
jessica simpson and miss piggy spot during the pregame show.
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the
biggest buzz is around the pepsi-itunes ad—it’s
120 seconds (yes, that’s $9.2 million).
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•
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there
will be at least three different erectile dysfunction ads.
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names
you should know:
| john
fox: |
carolina
coach. has a horrible gum-chewing habit; was a california surfer-dude
in his teens.
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| bill
belichick: |
patriots
coach. has a reputation as the worst-dressed coach in the NFL; is a
die-hard bon jovi fan.
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| tom
brady: |
patriots
quarterback. total hottie; was a judge at the miss america pageant.
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| jake
delhomme: |
(pronounced "DUH-lome"),
carolina quarterback. down-home boy from smalltown louisiana.
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| stephen
davis: |
leading
rusher (runs the most yards) for the panthers.
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know before you bet:
| • |
the
patriots are favored; the spread is 7 (which means the patriots are
expected to win by at least 7 points).
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| • |
season
records: panthers, 14 wins, 5 losses; patriots, 16 wins, 2 losses.
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| • |
the
patriots have won their last 14 games in a row (the last team to
win 14 in a row in one season was the dolphins, in 1972).
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| • |
the
pats won the superbowl two years ago.
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| • |
this
is carolina’s first time in the superbowl ; their 2001 record
was 1 win and 15 losses.
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| • |
both
teams have strong defenses, so it should theoretically be a
low-scoring
game.
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fun facts:
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about
140 million people will watch the superbowl. |
| • |
pairs
of tickets to the superbowl are currently selling on e-bay starting
at about $3,000.
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| • |
the
prize for winning the game is a championship ring (everyone on the
team gets one). they are fairly hideous, and look like high-school
class rings - usually gold or platinum, with diamonds (the 1998 broncos’ ring
set the record with 124 diamonds). the NFL contributes up to $5,000
each for the rings; players make up the difference if they want a
more expensive ring.
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| • |
beyonce
will sing the national anthem.
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the
cost of one 30-sec ad during the super bowl is $2.3 million.
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| • |
according
to weight watchers, an average size-six girl should eat about
20 "points" in a single day. there are 5 points in one slice
of pizza;
9
points in 3 buffalo wings; and 3 points in one bottle of beer.
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•
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the
city of houston paid $700 million to host the game.
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| • |
mtv
is producing the half-time show; janet jackson, kid rock, nelly and
p.diddy will perform.
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glossery
of terms:
| expansion
team: |
a
team that is new to the NFL (carolina is an
expansion team, and joined 9 years ago)
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| extra
point: |
after
a team scores a touchdown, they attempt to kick
the ball
through the "uprights" (worth 1 point)
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| field
goal: |
when
a team fails to get the ball into the end-zone, they can try
to kick the football through the "uprights"
(worth 3 points)
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| first
down: |
every
time a team gains ten yards (by rushing or passing), they achieve a
first down. each first down results in four more chances to make the
next first down. (the confusing part is that each of those chances
are also called
"
downs" - first, second, third, and fourth downs.)
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| flag: |
what
the referees throw to indicate a foul (it’s yellow)
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| fumble: |
when
a player running with the ball drops it
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| interception: |
when
the quarterback attempts to pass the ball to one of
his teammates, but the other team catches it
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| kick
return: |
at
the beginning of each half, one team kicks the ball to the other team.
the team that catches the ball runs with it until tackled. this can
be very exciting when they run it all the way back for a touchdown.
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| passing: |
throwing
the ball
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| punt
return: |
similar
to a kick return, except a punt return occurs every time the team
with the ball has run out of chances to score a touchdown; they then
punt the ball to the other team.
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| rushing: |
running
with the ball
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| sack: |
when
the quarterback is tackled before he gets a chance to pass the ball
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| safety: |
a
sack that takes place in the quarterback’s own end-zone (worth
2 points)
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| touchdown: |
when
the football crosses the end-zone line (worth 6 points)
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| turnover: |
a
fumble that is recovered by the other team, or an interception
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do's:
| • |
bring
good beer, like magic hat or peroni (no amstel).
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| • |
bring
something other than chips (the host should have that covered).
try
a case of krispy kremes, or chili.
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call
the players and coaches by their last names.
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show
up before kick-off.
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don'ts:
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bring
wine.
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wear
heels (but we can't stop a true fashonista).
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ask
for a glass. just drink the beer from the bottle. (ditto.)
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talk
during the game.
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cheer
for a team by its color.
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ask
questions during a play.
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| • |
suggest
changing the channel (no matter how boring the game is).
remember, there is likely to be at least one person in the room with a
large wager riding on the game.
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www.superbowl.com
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